When a family breaks down, grandparents are often the ones who fall through the cracks. Parents argue over arrangements, solicitors get involved, and somewhere in the middle, grandparents find themselves cut off from children they have helped raise from birth. If you are a grandparent asking whether you can have joint custody with a parent in the UK, you are asking exactly the right question. 

The answer is not a simple yes or no. It depends on the law, the circumstances, and what the family courts believe is best for the child. This article explains where you stand, what your options are, and how to protect your relationship with your grandchildren without making an already difficult situation worse.

Do Grandparents Have Automatic Custody Rights in the UK?

Let us start with the hard truth: grandparents do not have automatic legal rights over their grandchildren in the UK, including visitation rights and parental responsibility. This surprises many families, particularly those where grandparents have been central to a child’s daily life.

Roughly one million grandparents in the UK are affected by separation or divorce, according to figures from 2021.

That is an enormous number of people who wake up one day to find they no longer have an assured place in their grandchild’s life, simply because an adult relationship has ended. The legal framework that governs all of this is the Children Act 1989. Under this Act, the child’s welfare is the court’s paramount concern. Grandparents are not mentioned specifically, but the Act does provide a route for them to seek involvement through the family courts.

Can a Grandparent Have Joint Custody with a Parent in the UK?

This is where it gets nuanced. The short answer is: yes, it is possible, but it is not automatic and it is not straightforward.

In legal terms, “custody” in the UK is now referred to as a child arrangements order. This is a court order that sets out where a child lives and how much time they spend with different people. Grandparents can, in principle, be named in a child arrangements order alongside a parent. This could mean the child lives primarily with a parent but spends significant time with grandparents, or in more exceptional cases, that a grandparent shares the day-to-day care.

However, grandparents cannot apply for a family court order relating to their grandchild without first getting the permission of the court to do so. This is known in legal circles as applying for “leave to apply,” and it is the first hurdle grandparents must clear before anything else can happen.

What Is a Child Arrangements Order and How Does It Apply to Grandparents?

A child arrangements order is the main legal tool available when families cannot agree on where a child should live or how contact should work. When grandparents often play a significant role in a child’s upbringing, and that role is suddenly disrupted, a child arrangements order can formalise their involvement.

To apply for one, grandparents must first apply to the courts for permission. The family courts will look at several factors before granting that permission, including:

• The nature and history of the grandparent’s involvement: Courts give significant weight to a genuine, loving relationship. Grandparents who have been regular carers, not just occasional visitors, are in a stronger position.
• The child’s best interests, emotionally and practically: Research consistently shows that children benefit from connections with their wider family, and family courts acknowledge this.
• The views of the parents and the child: Depending on age and maturity, what the child themselves wants will also be taken into account.
• The risk of indirect harm through conflict:  If granting the order is likely to create ongoing hostility that affects the child, the court will weigh that carefully.
• The likely timeline: The median duration for private law child arrangements cases in England and Wales is approximately 43 weeks as of 2024. That is nearly a year, which is another reason why exploring mediation and specialist family advice early makes practical sense.

Parental Responsibility and Why It Matters

Parental responsibility is the collection of rights and duties a person holds in relation to a child. Parents typically hold this automatically. Grandparents, however, do not. This distinction matters enormously during court proceedings.

Grandparents do not have any automatic rights when it comes to seeing their grandchildren and nor do they have automatic parental responsibility or the ability to get parental responsibility through a court order.

However, this does not mean a grandparent is powerless. What it does mean is that without parental responsibility, the legal process requires more steps and more guidance from a specialist family law team or experienced family law solicitors.

The Special Guardianship Order: A More Substantial Option

In cases where a parent is genuinely unable to care for their child, whether due to illness, addiction, imprisonment, or other serious circumstances, a grandparent can apply for a special guardianship order. This goes further than a child arrangements order and is often used when one or both parents are not in a position to provide adequate care.

A special guardianship order allows a grandparent to make important decisions on behalf of their grandchild, such as where they go to school, the medical treatment they receive, and any religious matters.

A special guardianship order does not remove parental responsibility from the parents, but it does give the grandparent greater legal authority to act in the child’s best interests on a day-to-day basis. It is a serious step, and one that should be taken with proper legal advice.

Speaking with family law solicitors who understand this area of law can make a significant difference in how a case is presented to the court.

Before Going to Court: Try Mediation First

Family courts in England and Wales generally expect families to have attempted mediation before they escalate to court proceedings. This is not just a formality. Mediation has an approximately 70% success rate in family disputes, meaning the majority of families who sit down with a neutral mediator find a way forward without ever entering a courtroom.

Mediation is particularly valuable for grandparents because court proceedings can permanently damage family relationships. A mediated agreement, by contrast, tends to be more flexible, faster to reach, and less adversarial. It keeps communication open and reduces the emotional cost for everyone involved, including the children.

Before applying to the courts, grandparents are usually required to attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) to explore whether mediation could resolve the issue. Many grandparents find that a structured conversation, facilitated by a trained mediator, achieves contact arrangements they thought would only be possible through a judge.

What the Family Courts Will Look at if You Do Apply

If mediation does not resolve matters and you need to apply to the courts, the court will consider the child’s welfare as its primary concern. Factors relevant to contact arrangements typically include.

The nature and history of the grandparent’s involvement with the child. Courts give significant weight to a genuine, loving relationship that has been part of the child’s life. Grandparents who have been regular carers, not just occasional visitors, are in a stronger position.

Whether contact with the grandparent is in the child’s best interests emotionally and practically. Research consistently shows that children benefit from connections with their wider family, and family courts acknowledge this.

The views of the parents and, depending on age and maturity, the views of the child themselves.

Whether granting the order could create conflict that would harm the child indirectly.

The median duration for private law child arrangements cases in England and Wales is approximately 43 weeks as of 2024. That is nearly a year. Going to court is rarely quick, which is another reason why exploring mediation and specialist family advice early makes practical sense.

A Note on the Law Society and Finding the Right Legal Support

If you do need to instruct a solicitor, it is worth checking the Law Society’s Find a Solicitor tool to identify accredited specialists in children law. Grandparent cases require a lawyer who understands the specific procedural requirements of applying for court permission and who can advise on whether a child arrangements order or a special guardianship order better suits your situation.

A good specialist family solicitor will not simply push you towards court. They will look at all available options, including mediation, and help you understand the realistic outcomes before you commit to a legal process.

Start the Right Way with Family Law Mediation

If you are a grandparent worried about your legal right to contact with your grandchildren, or if you are a parent trying to navigate a situation where a grandparent is seeking shared arrangements, the right first step is to speak to someone who understands both the emotional weight of these situations and the legal landscape that surrounds them.

At Family Law Mediation, we specialise in helping families in Derby, Coventry, Birmingham, Leicester, Tamworth, and Nottingham. We offer a consultation to help you understand your options, whether you are looking to establish contact arrangements, explore a child arrangements order, or understand what a special guardianship order might mean for your family.

Email us at hello@familylawmediation.co.uk or call 0116 4422 989 to arrange your consultation today.

You do not have to figure this out alone, and you do not have to go straight to court to protect your relationship with your grandchildren. Let us help you find the right path forward.