Starting divorce mediation can feel daunting but the first joint mediation session is there to help set a constructive tone and move things forward calmly. It’s where both parties come together with the mediator for the first time, often after separate MIAMs (Mediation Information and Assessment Meetings), to begin addressing the practical and financial issues that need resolving. This first session doesn’t aim to solve everything at once — it’s a foundation-setting meeting to identify priorities and outline what the process will look like.

What’s the purpose of the first joint session?

The main goal is to:

• Identify the issues that need resolving
• Explain how mediation works
• Agree on how discussions will be handled moving forward

If a Financial Consent Order is being considered as part of the separation, the groundwork for that process starts here too.

What does the session typically involve?

Every mediator has their own style but most first joint sessions follow a similar flow:

1. Introductions and ground rules

The mediator will explain their role and confirm that the session is confidential and voluntary. This helps build trust from the outset.

2. Recap of the MIAMs

A short summary of any shared themes or concerns from the individual MIAMs, purely to set the stage for open conversation.

3. Creating the agenda

The mediator helps both parties list the areas they want to work through—this might include property, pensions, child arrangements, savings or spousal maintenance.

4. Setting priorities

Each person is encouraged to outline what matters most to them. This helps shape the direction of the next sessions.

5. Financial disclosure overview

If you’re working towards a Financial Consent Order, full and honest financial disclosure is essential. The mediator will explain what documents are needed and how these will be used to support any financial agreement.

6. Planning the next steps

At the end of the session, the mediator will confirm what needs to happen before the next meeting—typically exchanging financial information and scheduling the next date.

Will we start making decisions in this session?

Probably not. The first meeting is more about building structure and identifying where the focus needs to be. In some cases, if disclosure is already complete and the issues are straightforward, progress can be made—but there’s no pressure to make immediate decisions.

What should I do to prepare?

• Get your documents in order: Have recent bank statements, income details, mortgage balances and pension valuations ready.
• Be clear about your goals: Know what’s important to you and where you may be flexible.
• Come ready to listen: Mediation is about working together, not winning arguments.

What if we can’t agree straight away?

That’s completely normal. Mediation isn’t about rushing—it’s about working through things steadily. The mediator will help keep things on track, even when there are disagreements. If at any point mediation isn’t the right fit, the mediator will explain what options you have next, including applying to court. But many couples find they make more progress than expected once the conversation starts.

How many sessions will we need?

It depends on how many issues there are and how willing both parties are to find solutions. Most people need between three and five sessions. If you’re aiming for a Financial Consent Order, progress depends on how quickly financial information is shared and understood.

Looking ahead: Making mediation work for you

The first joint mediation session is a key step in taking control of your separation. It’s not about solving everything straight away, it’s about setting the tone, identifying the issues and beginning the journey towards a fair outcome. At Family Law Mediation, we guide couples through every stage of the process with professionalism, empathy and clarity. Whether you’re preparing for a Financial Consent Order or simply want a more constructive way to separate, we’re here to help you move forward with confidence. Get in touch with Family Law Mediation to learn how we can support you through your first session and beyond.